


I Wanna Hold Your Hand

by mooonwaffle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Disorder, Blackmail, Boys Kissing, Celebrity Crush, Dates, Falling In Love, Fanboy Merlin, Fluid dressing, Gossip, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Merlin has a secret (and you don't know it either), Merlin wears crop tops, Merlin's a short boy, Mordred is famous, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Paparazzi, Texting, The ending might be sad I'm still figuring out part of the plot, Web Series, past depression, smoking weed, thrifting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 05:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18025280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooonwaffle/pseuds/mooonwaffle
Summary: Merlin couldn't help but immediately crush on Mordred Ellis of the web series First Base. He never though he would get a chance to meet Mordred, let alone be in the same room as him. He knows there's not a chance in hell his idol could ever be interested in him but he sneaks his number into his pocket when meeting him anyway. What happend when he actually texts him? Could he be gayer than he thought?





	I Wanna Hold Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

> New book! I hope you guys enjoy. I worked very hard on this first chapter. It may not be the best but I was so excited that I wrote it in a couple of hours haha
> 
> -PC

Chapter One - Chest

 

  **MERLIN PACED** back-and-forth his closet, tossing clothes and shoes everywhere. He picked up a plain white shirt, held it up to his chest and then groaned loudly and chucked it across the room.

“Why the hell is this so hard? I’ve been through every single item I own!” Merlin yelled in pain.

“Ouch!” Will muttered and peeled the shirt off his face his best friend had thrown at him. He carefully put it back on its hanger and into its rightful spot in Merlin’s closet. Will turned to face him, “I’ve been telling you everything looks good. This guy doesn’t even know who you are. He’s not even gay so why would he care what you look like for the .3 seconds you’ll be in his presence?”

“You don’t know that. I get a vibe. Besides, he doesn’t have a girlfriend, does he?” Merlin snapped and took off the yellow hoodie he was wearing to find something else.

Will rolled his eyes, “you said that about every single boy you meet.”

The short raven-haired man crossed his arms and huffed.

Will bent down and grabbed a couple clothing items Merlin had flung. He held them up to the light and nodded, “here, wear this. I like this one on you.”

“I need shoes.”

Will sighed and searched the floor for whatever he could find. He settled on a pair of black vans and tossed them to Merlin. He took a seat on the bed and watched as his friend slipped off his trousers to tug on the shirt Will had given him. Then he pulled on his dungarees on and laced up his shoes. Merlin smiled with content and turned around for Will to see.

He was wearing black dungarees with a long-sleeve white tee underneath. His baby blue socks were peeking out, complementing his black vans.

“That’s fucking adorable. If he’s not gay now he’ll definitely turn gay once he sees you,” Will chuckled.

Merlin rolled his eyes with a grin, “I can’t believe it’s actually happening. I’ve been fanboying over Mordred for years. Do you think it’d be rude if I just ignored the rest of the cast and just talked to him the whole time?”

Will simply shrugged, “I don’t think they’d care. But you like Morgana too, don’t forget about her.”

“Oh, of course not. If I was straight I’d swipe her right off her feet in a second,” Merlin pulled out his phone and stared at the time and an alert on his phone. His eyes popped and he jumped into the air in panic, “shit, shit, shit! The panel starts in twenty minutes and the bus is coming ten minutes late!”

“Just take the tube. It takes less than half the time the bus does.”

“But they scare me and they move way too fast.”

Will shrugged, meaning he wasn’t helping Merlin out in any way. He sighed, crossed his arms and realized he was going to have to do this if he wanted to meet his idol.

He tucked his ticket, his number, some cash and his phone in his pocket. He was ready to go.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Merlin sucked in a deep breath and stepped into the tube. It was crowded as tubes always were, and it didn’t help that he lived right smack in the middle of London. He inched further from the doors, pressing himself against the walls of the tube to find space. His hand grabbed a strap but he quickly pulled away when he felt someone’s else’s hand already on it. He blushed and looked away, grabbing a part of a pole nearby.

They took off shortly after he grabbed on and he nearly fell over onto the person next to him. He really wasn’t used to this. He felt like throwing up at how fast the damn thing went.

He focused on what it would be like seeing Mordred, hearing his voice, touching him, just being in his presence. He was so focused that he nearly forgot he was even in the scariest place in all of London… except maybe escalators were scarier.

The doors opened a while later and Merlin opened his eyes. His heart beat harder with every step he took of the tube, getting closer and closer to Mordred Ellis. He walked up the stairs and finally, he was back on the safe, secure ground.

There were crowds of people and reporters here and there, most likely heading to the same place he was. Merlin looked up and saw the giant venue it was being held at it. He wanted to run to it as fast as he could, into Mordred’s arms. But he would look like a giant idiot if he did. So he took his time walking to the building.

The person in front of him held the door open for him so he thanked her and held it open for the next person. There were tons of security guards in the main lobby. He noticed passes hanging from the necks’ of fans and that’s when he realized he had forgotten to put his on. He quickly slid it over his head and walked up to one of the tens of people with a scanner in their hand.

They scanned his pass and gave him a small smile, “Merlin?” He nodded and gave them a kind smile back. “Have fun, kid.”

He walked past the line of security and just stood in place for a moment, not knowing what to do with himself. Where would he even go? The panel didn’t start for another twenty minutes and he already his seat reserved. He nibbled on his bottom lip out of nervousness. Maybe he could get a bite to eat, but he wasn’t very hungry.

He heard loud laughing behind him coming closer. He was about to move out of the way since it sounded like they were about to hit him but before he could, two people jumped in front of him.

Merlin fell back in surprise. He caught himself before he hit the ground and stared at the couple in front of him.

“Sorry!” One of them yelled, “we just really liked your outfit and you seem really cool and thought we’d introduce ourselves,” the darker skinned person wearing a long beautiful dressed exclaimed.

“Oh, that’s okay,” he smiled, eyes lighting up, “thanks!”

The other one spoke, “I’m Freya, I use they/them pronouns and this is my girlfriend Gwen, she uses she/her pronouns. What’s your name?”

“Nice to meet you two. I’m Merlin, he/him but I don’t really care if you use other pronouns. Are you here to see the First Base cast?”

They looked at each other and nodded, getting all hyper again. But Merlin couldn’t blame them, he was incredibly excited too.

“Yes, we both have massive crushes on Morgana leFay,” Freya laughed, “not that I could ever love anyone more than Gwen here. She’s my soulmate.”

Merlin smiled. They seemed perfect for each other. He could hide the fact that he was a little jealous, though. He wanted to love someone who loved him back equally.

“Who are you here to see?” Gwen asked next.

Merlin blushed, thinking of him again, “Mordred Ellis. I have a theory that he’s queer but my best mate thinks he’s straight as a pole,” he shrugged.

“That’s crazy. I got a gay vibe the moment I saw him on the telly. And you’d for sure turn him gay anyway. You’re hot as hell.”

Freya and Gwen took him into their little group and they hung out the whole time before the panel started. They ended up grabbing rainbow cotton candy and dying their tongues yellow, red and purple. They eventually had to split apart due to the range of different seat numbers, but at least he had VIP and could sit at the very front.

The speaker first came out and she had a round of applause, but nothing compared to what the actors and actresses were going to receive. She’d be introducing the cast and asking all of the questions. The first to come out was the director of the film, Gaj Sanow and as expected, the crowd grew louder. Next was Morgana leFay and he could’ve sworn he heard Gwen and Freya yell ‘ _marry me_!’

Arthur Pendragon, her half brother then walked out but Merlin wasn’t a huge fan of him. He seemed to be quite the prick. Kilgharrah was next and he was actually one of his favourite actors so he clapped extra loud. Percival Keen received an enormous amount of applause, probably because everyone was in love with his muscles.

Merlin was gripping the edge of his seat so hard they were starting to go numb. He was beginning to think maybe Mordred wasn’t coming. And if that was the case he might as well go home. The whole point of coming was to see him.

He barely had time to register before a certain curly haired man walked out from the curtain as the speaker called his name. A deep shade of red rose to his cheeks and his heart dropped.

He was so beautiful. He would be fine with just looking at him the whole time since he was practically glowing. His jawline was so sharp and hot, he could kill Merlin with it and he’d be honoured. His nose was adorable and perfect, he just wanted to boop it. His eyes were like a void of beauty. He couldn’t see them clearly but he imagined getting lost in them. Everything about him was so perfect. He couldn’t wait to hear him speak.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The panel was so amazing he couldn’t begin to imagine how the meet and greet would go. It was still mind-boggling to Merlin that he was actually going to meet Mordred in person.

He met up with his new friends afterwards and they went to one of the concession stands for dinner, seeing as it was nearly six o’clock. Merlin ordered a black bean burger with fries and sat down at a table with Gwen and Freya. They talked about the fanboying, fangirling and fan-non-binarying they did during the panel. And Merlin was correct, they both did scream for Morgana to marry them.

Once they finished up their dinner, it was about time to get in the VIP line. Merlin took Gwen and Freya’s letters they made for Morgana, promising to give them to her. They exchanged numbers and then they were off their separate ways.

He walked followed the map on the back of the pamphlet to where the line started. It was only a three-minute walk from where he was and he made it twelve minutes early to when the meet and greet actually started. There were already about ten people in front of him so he was glad he decided on coming early.

He plopped a piece of gum in his mouth and placed his earbuds into his ears. Billie Eilish always calmed his nerves down.

Half an hour or so later, he spit his gum out, took out his earbuds and walked in.

His breathing picked up and his heart began to beat. He had this feeling like he was going to do something embarrassing or stupid and he should just run away right now. The security guard pointed for him to keep it moving but he was frozen in place. He peeked his head over for a moment and looked at all of them just standing there.

Merlin closed his eyes, took a deep breath and continued. Everyone looked over to him and his breathing hitched when his eyes met Mordreds’. Morgana smiled and waved him over. Suddenly his feet were moving fast towards the curly haired man. He attacked him with a hug, pressing his face into his chest.

He heard a soft chuckle and a pair of arms attach to him, one across his waist and another on his back.

Merlin didn’t want to look up to see his face or he would probably end up crying. So he kept his face smushed into thick hoodie Mordred was wearing. His cheeks were burning and it felt like he might explode.

He could feel Mordred’s breath against his neck, causing his cheeks to flare up even more. He hugged the taller man tighter out of embarrassment. Mordred hugged him tighter, matching Merlin. Was he mocking him?

Another chuckle.

“Are you going to tell me your name?” He felt a hand pull his face away from the safe, comfy chest. What the heck was he doing? He needed his face back in there!

Merlin bit his lip because he could feel his eyes on him. Slowly, he was able to grow the courage to look back up. He was gorgeous. He was so much more beautiful and lively than in digital images or on stage. Merlin felt his cheeks burn.

“M-Merlin,” he managed to muster out.

Mordred smiled, “thanks for coming to see us all today. How old are you, Merlin?”

He tried to push his face back onto his safe, comfy chest but Mordred wouldn’t allow it.

“Twenty three,” he peeped.

Mordred chuckled again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that, “are you nervous?”

Merlin nodded quickly.

He wanted back in his chest.

Back in the safe zone… so comfy, so warm.

“No need to be. I don’t bite. But don’t get close to Arthur, he does.”

Merlin let out a small laugh. It was probably true.

“Hey!” He heard a voice shout.

Mordred finally turned the other way so Merlin took his chance and shoved his face back into his chest. Finally.

“Good job, Arthur. You scared them.”

He felt a thumb softly stroke against his back. He appreciated the thought in pronouns. He wasn’t dysphoric or anything but he dressed very fluidly and it was nice of Mordred not to assume. Just another thing he loved about him.

“Hey, sleepy head,” his soft voice whispered, “your five minutes are up, sorry.”

Merlin hugged him tighter like it was goodbye forever, which it was. He would never see him again, most likely. He quickly pulled something out from his dungarees and placed the paper into Mordred’s pocket. It was his number.

Finally, they pulled away and Merlin awkwardly looked down at the floor as he walked away, but not before he gave Morgana the cards. He gave one last glance at his idol, surprised to see that he was staring back, and walked out the door.

 

 


End file.
